Thursday, March 26, 2009

Trying...

Lately I've been letting stuff get to me. Stuff that shouldn't bother me really gets under my skin. Things that I can't control or something the kids do. Really it is all just stupid stuff but I've let it get to me and I start throwing myself a pity party. The mind is a powerful thing and I could probably convince myself of just about anything. I mean really, my house is way dirty and people look down on me because of it. And Micah is so much more stubborn than the average 3 year old. Eli's lungs are much more powerful than any other kid alive. And my babysitting kids whine more than any other kids in the whole world. We never, ever have any money...ever. It is that kind of thinking that gets me depressed. When I start focusing on the things that are irritating me and not on the One who meets all of my needs, everything looks dark. I forget that I am so lucky to be a Stay-at-Home Mom and clean my house whenever I want. I forget that Micah is the sweetest 3 year old I have ever met. I forget that Eli is joy all the time. (seriously ALL the time) I forget that I have the privelage of babysitting 3 little human beings and investing in their lives. I just forget everything that is GOOD about my life.

So this morning when I woke up to the dog's poop all over the living room, 2 cranky kids, 2 extra kids, and a weeks worth of laundry, I wanted to sit down and pout. I wanted to focus on how awful my life was and for awhile I did. This morning I was miserable and I made everyone around me miserable too. And then in a still small voice, there He was. Here I am. Looks at me. He was there, waiting for me to see how wonderful He is...even if I have to see that while cleaning up the dog poop, fending off 4 cranky children, and the dryer buzzing. Despite all of the other stuff, He IS wonderful. So that's what I am trying to think about, even when things are crazy and chaotic. I am trying, I really really am...

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